I don’t know about you, but the recent outed allegedabuse and misconduct shook my world. I am trying to process, but right now, all of these hidden sins coming to light devastated my reality.
Early in our ministry, Jon and I read the book A Hill on Which to Die by Paul Pressler. This book gave us a foundation to know that there are some issues worth losing your church, reputation, and whatever else goes out the window, when one stands for the truth of the gospel. At the time, we were in a context that we faced racism. I grew up in the South. I knew there was a time that people elevated themselves over others of a different skin color, but I had never experienced the ugliness and pride of racism like we did in this context. More than once, I believed we would loose our position as Jon lovingly spoke out against this evil.
Speaking the truth that we are all equals in God’s kingdom was a “hill on which to die.” Jon knew I supported him, even if the results ranged from at the least, uncomfortable for us and our growing family and at the most, devastating, I was prepared. On more than one occasion Jon used his quick whit to expose what was in the heart of “good” people. An example of this happened during a business meeting to discuss what to do with a rental house the church owned. The church debated on whether or not to have an outside company manage the rental property, but they feared not having a say on who rented it. From that, one person stated, “I’m not racist, but if a black person rents it, then white people won’t rent it afterwards.” Jon responded, “Then we should rent only to people of color to avoid renting it to any racist white people.” The church chose to allow a rental company manage it.
I share this story because the men who led the resurgence became heroes. I was confident that we too could stand against racism because of their testimonies of God’s goodness. Now, I sit in confusion. What is real? I’m standing on shaky ground.
I’m thankful for Ed Stetzer’s article on Christianity Today. He gave me perspective.
I am left with the question, When Heroes Fall? My answer is…
I choose to remember that my faith is in Christ alone. My eyes are on Jesus. He is the author and perfecter of my faith. No one is above struggle. I need to be all the more diligent to stand in front of the mirror of the Word of God, allowing Him to walk me through tough trials and suffering “because I know that the testing of my faith produces perseverance. I must let perseverance finish its work so that I may be mature and complete, not lacking anything,” (James 1:3-4).
Often the distractions of the “good life” keep me from embracing trials and suffering. I want my kids to have it better than I did. I’m not saying that this all bad. However, God reminds me that “For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.” (1 John 2:16), and I am not immune.
Ok. I think I’m feeling better. Blogging helps me clarify my thinking. I’m going to hide 1 John 2:16 in my heart, so that I might not sin against my Savior.