In the days after I delivered Kai darkness pressed on me from every side. The stillness and quiet of the night became a living nightmare. My will to choose to believe the Lord exercised my faith. I’d like to say that it was easy, but it wasn’t.

I wrote this to my friends and family on June 21, “To all who are grieving with us, please remember the promise. God does not promise us that sickness will not come, that death will not happen, that all manner of tribulation or tragedy will not come to us. He only promises us that “blessed are they that mourn because they will be comforted.” He promises His children that He will never leave them nor forsake them. Please make a covenant with me that you will not play the “what if game”. Identify the lie that this wouldn’t have happened if… But claim the promise that God will bring comfort. I may have to yell it, but today I will claim His promises. Know that you are loved and appreciated!”

Let me tell you how much easier it is to write it than live it. In the moment it’s a 5K for your faith. I started on the path. Many of God’s truths are working themselves out in my life.

The lies we tell ourselves hinder our faith and chain us to selfishness. So often when tragedy knocks on our door,  we point to ourselves. The conversation we have within either elevates our ego to self righteousness or tears us down, devaluing our ego. Both are equally prideful and self worship.

What lies do you tell yourself? Do you crush yourself under the weight of self righteousness? Here is truth. Galatians 5 says, “⁴ You who are trying to be justified by the law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace. ⁵ For through the Spirit we eagerly await by faith the righteousness for which we hope. ⁶ For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value.The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.”

I have a tendency to tear down and devalue myself. My past chains tell me that I’m just not good enough. The voice in my head says, “You didn’t… You sinned this way… You’re not…” The lie I have to identify is that I’m still trying to justify myself by the law, which I can never do. I have sinned. I can never be righteous. But what the law was powerless to do God did by sending Jesus.

The opposite crushes and blinds by elevating and overvaluing. If you hear the lie that you can be justified by the law, then you have fallen from grace and obligated to keep the whole law. The only man to be able to do that was Jesus, and he was sacrificed to be an offering for sin to satisfy the wrath of God. You have set yourself up as a god.

When tragedy knocks on your door, the most important thing to do is to identify lies? The only way to do that is to know God. Ask Him today to break the chain of selfishness and pride.