“Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”
Something changed in her, an innocence lost. As she looked out, the world seemed to be losing color, so she hung her head. The ground seemed to be shaking. She looked around. No one else seemed to notice. To her terror, she realized, she alone felt the tremors of her life falling into darkness. A secret she must keep.
We all have secrets. Those dark hidden places locked up in our hearts that we dare not venture to far into that void. These little reminders of deep agonizing pain fissures through our memories, terrorizing us with the past. Secrets we must keep.
“For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord.”
In order for healing to come, some stories must be told. Stepping out of denial and into the light of God’s power gives me strength to tell my story of his saving grace. Slowly, it becomes less about my past and more about His rescue of a little wild girl caught between dangerous darkness and vivid fantasies.
I’m working through writing my story down. It’s sad, tough work revisiting painful places, and feeling the shame again is exhausting. Thankfully, I carry the truth that I was once darkness, but now I am light in the Lord with me to the void. This truth becomes a salve to the fissures of pain in my heart, healing the brokenness, giving me wholeness in the face of my secrets.
I rejoice that healing is not for me alone, but every Friday night I share God’s rescue with hurting people at Celebrate Recovery. The darkness of my past becomes a light for others to find God’s grace in Jesus Christ. Imagine the dark becoming light!
Today, I want to encourage you that no matter how dark your secret, in God’s hands, it becomes light. As He heals our tattered souls, we become a beacon of light.
The first step is the hardest to make. The darkness we’ve known our whole lives feels familiar, safe even. We developed an arsenal of weapons to manage the shaking ground of abuse. We found ways to force our world to feel right, when what was done to us was so, so, so wrong.
Coming into the Light means, we have to let go of what we worked so hard to do. We must stop depending on ourselves and trust someone else. I don’t know about you, but this statement strikes fear to the core of my being. Trust someone else?
The God I knew in my childhood was a demanding tyrant. He was angry at everyone because no one could follow his rules. No matter how hard I tried I could never be good enough to be loved.
But then I meet the real Jesus, and through Him a compassionate Father, who ran to me.
Throwing his arms around my neck, he clothed me in the righteousness of Jesus Christ. I have no need to be jealous of other girls. Now, I am a princess in his kingdom. Gone are my days of envy. Now, I have a heavenly inheritance stored up for me, where moth and dust cannot destroy.
If you are reading this, and think, “I could never tell my secret. I could never trust Jesus to make me whole.” But, maybe you’ve come to the place, where your life seems unmanageable, and anything else is better than this life your living now.Find a Celebrate Recovery. It’s for every hurt, habit, or hang up. CR is place filled with a bunch of really messed up people, who found a real God, who is making them whole again. It’s a safe place to be really messy. It’s a safe place to be inconvenient. I’m a pastor’s wife, and they let me be messy, broken, and inconvenient. I didn’t have to pretend that I was more sanctified than I am. They allowed me to have problems. If you know anything about church, this is unusual. The pastor’s wife must be well-dressed, well-mannered, and darn near perfect to be acceptable. Even the people that said they wanted me to be real, rejected me and used gas-lighting. They said one thing, but then got very mad at me because I wasn’t grieving the exact way they thought I should grieve.
There is hope. Jesus said,
The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to set the oppressed free,
Hospitality is the most fun part of being a pastor’s wife. I LOVE people! I feel energized and more alive, when people are around. I don’t even have to be the one talking or in the spot light. I’m from a big family, and it’s one of my greatest treasures. I love going home to Florida, where I’m just another grandchild among the other 16. I am part of something bigger than myself; that’s beautiful. When we all get together there is over 50 of us! It’s the best! You have 30 conversations going on at one time. You can sit and whisper with Gigi as she marvels at the energy and love in the house. You can completely disappear into the crowd with a feeling of contentment, just watching everyone around you.
Today, I get to feel that love with my church family. We’ve got lunch and dinner planned. I’m so excited at the variety that I get to love on today: family, close friends, and new friends. All this preparation for today made me think about the body of Christ. We are all different. We have different gifts, areas of influence, backgrounds, and jobs, but in Christ we are one body. There are some members of the body that are fun and we delight to see. There are some members of the body that are inconvenient.
The kingdom of God sets everything in this world upside down, and sometimes we forget that. 1 Corinthians 12 was written to remind us of God’s values. Often, we honor the pastor, the rich, the people on the finance committee, or on the committee on committees, but God uses the foolish things of this world to confound the wise.
Who is to be given the greatest honor? “Those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor… while our presentable parts need no special treatment.” God wants us to labor for equality in the body.
What are the parts of the body that we need to love and honor today? We must sit with those that are grieving, suffering, and depressed. The poor, the lowly of this world should be loved the most. The ones who are inconvenient should be favored.
My Beloved, remember that this will cost us. Grace is free. Following Christ costs us not only our preferences, but also our lives. We all prefer to be rich, comfortable, happy, and enjoying our lives. To sit with the poor and lowly may cost us our time and money. To sit with grieving and suffering may make us feel their sadness and pain. To sit with the lowly will cost us our comfort.
Meditation: Worthy of Greater Honor Colossians 3:12, 14
Our hope is in Christ. He is even now working to make all things right.
As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved,
clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness,
humility, gentleness and patience.
And over all these virtues put on love,
which binds them all together in perfect unity.
I don’t know about you, but the recent outed allegedabuse and misconduct shook my world. I am trying to process, but right now, all of these hidden sins coming to light devastated my reality.
Early in our ministry, Jon and I read the book A Hill on Which to Die by Paul Pressler. This book gave us a foundation to know that there are some issues worth losing your church, reputation, and whatever else goes out the window, when one stands for the truth of the gospel. At the time, we were in a context that we faced racism. I grew up in the South. I knew there was a time that people elevated themselves over others of a different skin color, but I had never experienced the ugliness and pride of racism like we did in this context. More than once, I believed we would loose our position as Jon lovingly spoke out against this evil.
Speaking the truth that we are all equals in God’s kingdom was a “hill on which to die.” Jon knew I supported him, even if the results ranged from at the least, uncomfortable for us and our growing family and at the most, devastating, I was prepared. On more than one occasion Jon used his quick whit to expose what was in the heart of “good” people. An example of this happened during a business meeting to discuss what to do with a rental house the church owned. The church debated on whether or not to have an outside company manage the rental property, but they feared not having a say on who rented it. From that, one person stated, “I’m not racist, but if a black person rents it, then white people won’t rent it afterwards.” Jon responded, “Then we should rent only to people of color to avoid renting it to any racist white people.” The church chose to allow a rental company manage it.
I share this story because the men who led the resurgence became heroes. I was confident that we too could stand against racism because of their testimonies of God’s goodness. Now, I sit in confusion. What is real? I’m standing on shaky ground.
I’m thankful for Ed Stetzer’s article on Christianity Today. He gave me perspective.
I am left with the question, When Heroes Fall? My answer is…
I choose to remember that my faith is in Christ alone. My eyes are on Jesus. He is the author and perfecter of my faith. No one is above struggle. I need to be all the more diligent to stand in front of the mirror of the Word of God, allowing Him to walk me through tough trials and suffering “because I know that the testing of my faith produces perseverance. I must let perseverance finish its work so that I may be mature and complete, not lacking anything,” (James 1:3-4).
Often the distractions of the “good life” keep me from embracing trials and suffering. I want my kids to have it better than I did. I’m not saying that this all bad. However, God reminds me that “For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.” (1 John 2:16), and I am not immune.
Ok. I think I’m feeling better. Blogging helps me clarify my thinking. I’m going to hide 1 John 2:16 in my heart, so that I might not sin against my Savior.
This week 1 Corinthians rocked my world! Often, we study single verses out of context, and they begin to reflect what is inside our hearts. When, we take the time to read through the whole letter, God uses his word to display himself into our hearts and supernatural healing begins.
See what I did there? Reflection is natural to humans. We were designed to reflect God’s glory as image bearers. We must admit, we are not God, even though we are made in his image. Like everything else, sin broke this too. Now that we know evil, we want to be God. It’s a constant struggle as we learn to submit our wills to God and to walk in the Spirit to reflect God and not ourselves. Psychologists call this projection, and it is very easy to project our thoughts, feelings, and motivations onto God, the scriptures, and even the people around us.
As I studied this week, God displayed his truth with clarity. Perhaps you have heard someone who hurt you say that you must look at her intentions. If it wasn’t her intention to hurt you, then you shouldn’t feel hurt. We, who believe that we are saved by faith alone, forget that our works display our salvation. Good works and obedience have a place in our faith. It matters how we live. It maters what we do. If we are judged by intentions alone, then how could God judge me? I intend to be obedient, but I keep messing up, even though I want to live right. The truth is that both matter, intentions and behavior. If my behavior harmed someone else, then I am responsible to apologize and make amends. Although, this person, who harmed me, may not have intended harm, however, she caused me deep pain that has taken three years for me to heal. God is good and faithful to heal us. Sometimes that healing happens now, and sometimes that healing will come in heaven, when God dries my tears and I see Kai again.
I can’t wait, but until then, God cautions me to be mindful of how I live.
Did you know that our works will be tested?
They will be tried by fire. If we have built with wood, hay, or straw, our good works will burn up, “the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved– even only as one escaping through the flames.”
I have gladly become a fool for Christ, so that I am humble to learn from him. In myself is self-righteousness and pride. In Christ is all wisdom and knowledge,” so that I may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God.” I have learned this is a painful process at times. It means I give God the right to chip away parts of me that do not bring him glory. Sometimes, I like those parts because they have brought me comfort, but they are not from God. Sometimes, they are the very coping mechanisms that I have relied upon to endure abuse. However, if I continue to use these coping mechanisms, I will not grow in my knowledge of Christ. I will not be able to fellowship with him in suffering, and my good works will burn up. I will be as one who escaped a fire.
Meditation: Holiness 1 Corinthians 3:10-20
10 By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care. 11 For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12 If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, 13 their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. 14 If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. 15 If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames.
16 Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst? 17 If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person; for God’s temple is sacred, and you together are that temple.
18 Do not deceive yourselves. If any of you think you are wise by the standards of this age, you should become “fools” so that you may become wise. 19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. As it is written: “He catches the wise in their craftiness”[a]; 20 and again, “The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile.”[b]
God provides real examples of real people. They are moral people with great intentions of doing good and failing miserably. However, God still uses them to accomplish his purposes. Almost every story in the Bible mirrors our own struggles with sin. Sometimes we want very good things, but they are still contrary to complete trust and dependence on God. Placing confidence in good works is so easy because by nature we want to be like God, knowing good and evil. When we place our confidence in the flesh, we choke the Spirit. We strangle the very relationship given to us to stand against sin.
Philippians 3 confronted my pride of self-reliance, that pesky plaguing sin. A situation confronted me with a choice, count as rubbish my good works or be offended because someone, who had never spoken to me, judged my ministry. Honestly, I wanted to be offended. This person, who passed judgement on a situation that he has only heard one side of the story (and that side was not my side), doesn’t know the sleepless nights spent in anguished prayer, the broken heart that cried out to the Lord for guidance, the difficulty to stand before a leadership that said that the Bible couldn’t be used as a foundation, etc.
I can sum up my response in one-word: pride.
We must never forget that sin is predatory. Consider the language God used to call Cain to obedience in Genesis 4, He said, “Sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” Crouching like a lion in wait for its prey seeking the right moment of weakness. Sin desires. God wants us to understand the nature of sin. What is the weakness? Cain was downcast because he wanted to depend on himself. He wanted to define for himself what kind of offering to give the Lord. He became angry at Abel because Abel did what was right. Cain allowed his feelings to rule his life. In his anger and frustration, he murdered his brother.
How does this story relate to Philippians 3? Consider our desires to be good enough or to do good works or be the right kind of person. If we want to put any confidence in our flesh, Paul lays out an argument that he is better in every way. He is a Hebrew of Hebrews. Born to the chosen of the chosen. He has the best possible family name. As to following the law, he’s been following the letter of the law since he was eight days old. As to education, he had the best. As to zeal, he persecuted those who disagreed with him. He writes that he is blameless, faultless before the law. And he counts everything that he once believed to be good as poop compared to knowing Christ.
Am I willing to think this way?
All my hard work, doing good, being righteous, working to be faultless before the law, standing against what God calls evil counted as poop. Do I after knowing Christ and experiencing forgiveness and the sweet embrace of freedom want to go back to being confident in my ability to do what is right? Therefore, the story of Cain and Abel is so relevant to us today. We easily fall back on our feelings. We become frustrated or angry, and forget that God desires for us to depend completely on him.
Our family name, reputation, education, good works, position in the church are poop! God wants you and me to come to the place where we will want the righteousness that comes from Christ, counting anything else as less than and worthless. Am I willing to rest completely in faith that my righteousness comes for God?
TODAY, I say an enthusiastic yes. Did I spend a few days in prayerful struggle, releasing whatever good works I thought were worthy to compare? Sadly, yes. I am one of those messed up real people just like the other characters in the Bible.
God reminded me that many people live as enemies of the cross, and I can choose to be one of those people. Philippians 3:19 says of them “their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is their shame.” The word stomach is the Greek word koilia, meaning 1, Belly, abdomen; 2, site of sexual organs, womb; 3, inner man. Here, Paul is rejecting more than the gluttonous and sexual excess, but also the undue estimation of this physical life because “their mind is set on earthly things.” These things may be good, worthy things, but they are of this world.
Our focus is to be on our heavenly citizenship. Do we eagerly await our Savior’s return? Or are we eagerly awaiting our earthly destiny to be fulfilled? Do we work for Christ’s return or is it about our purpose? There is a delicate line separating these two. We see it displayed in Cain. Cain wanted to give an offering. He wanted to do good. He had great intentions, but he wanted to serve the Lord on his own terms, in his own way. God gives us the same warning. Don’t let your feelings rule over you! Count as poop everything compared to knowing Christ. Let us participate in his sufferings, and stop running from suffering. Let us become like Christ in his death, completely obedient to the Father, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
Is faith easy? No, because we must learn to master our feelings and submit them to truth. There will be days that we struggle, but let us not lose hope. Even the Apostle Paul wrote that he had not obtained all this, arriving at his goal of knowing Christ and counting everything else as poop. Like him, we have to press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of us. It’s not that we have a hold of Christ, but that He has a hold of us! Therefore, we can forget what is behind and strain toward the prize for which God has called us heavenward in Christ Jesus. And one day by the power that enables Christ to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies, so that we will be like his glorious body.
Be encouraged!
My word for the year is resurrection. Unpacking the impact of the resurrection on my life now and into eternity reveals the blessings of salvation through Jesus Christ.
In one word there contains eternal hope, unspeakable joy, and incomparable love.
We often focus on the future hope of resurrection, but it impacts our lives abundantly now.
Before walking with God through darkness, when I read these verse, I concentrated on myself being dead to sin, but now, because of esprit de corps, I embrace the truth that I am alive to God. Meaning because of what I have suffered (church wounding, grief, gossip, slander, back-biting, rejection from friends, etc.) I feel with the Spirit and with Jesus an inspiring enthusiasm, devotion, and strong regard for God. I live with him! My faith is more real because my relationship has grown through suffering as I learned to walk in the Spirit. The life I now live is centered on the nonperishable blessings that will last into eternity. The blessing I seek from God are not earthly. I seek an enduring relationship whereby I count the blessing of the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. When I see these things in my life, I know that I am blessed.
As I focus on knowing Jesus (some call this discipleship) I can count my blessings even though everything around me feels like it is falling apart. Because my circumstances no longer define me, my God defines me, and as I live with him, I find eternal hope, unspeakable joy, and incomparable love.
Meditation: Esprit de corps definition is the common spirit existing in the members of a group and inspiring enthusiasm, devotion, and strong regard for the honor of the group.
Life Everlasting from John 3:14-16, 36;5:24; 10:27-29; 1 John 5:11-13
And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness,
even so must the Son of Man be lifted up,
that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
He who believes in the Son has everlasting life; and he who does not believe the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abides on him.
Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My Word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life.
My sheep hear My voice, and I know them and they follow Me. And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand.
My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My hand.
And this is the testimony: that God has given us eternal life, and this life is in the Son.
He who has the Son has life; He who does not have the Son of God does not have life.
These things I have written unto you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life, and that you may continue to believe in the name of the Son of God.
Chosen!
“Not You” these two words would slash and dice my self-image over and over as a child as an adult as a wife as a mother as a friend. Come to think about it, there isn’t a situation that I can think of that these two words weren’t said to me.
Once, I was invited to a birthday party so that a girl, who repeatedly bullied me in elementary school, could beat me up. She broke my yellow watch. I ran all the way home down the dusty dirt road humiliated and ashamed, clutching that broken watch. I can still see Dawn’s sad eyes pitying me, unable to stop the fight.
We don’t want you!
Chosen is not a word that I applied to myself. I was the kid in Sunday School with two or three stars on the attendance sheet, and then a long span of empty spaces. Then two or three stars would appear followed by a long empty space. I would hear the gospel presented, and I wanted desperately for this forgiveness and love for myself. I never felt like I was worthy enough for something so wonderful. Why would God choose me? Then I read II Peter 3:9
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise,
Instead he is patient with you not wanting anyone to perish,
but everyone to come to repentance.
Anyone, everyone? I was pretty sure those two words included me. I thought I caught God by the toe. If anyone or everyone, included me, then God’s amazing love was for me too. This was my first step on the road to understanding who God is. For me, God turned a spot light on. I stepped into that little circle of faith, my first steps in understanding the difference between value and worth. Over the years, He has slowly increased that circle of faith.
I stumbled on to I Peter 2:9-10.
The footnotes in my study Bible in I Peter led me to the book of Hosea. Hosea was a prophet. God asked him to marry a promiscuous wife, Gomer. After marrying her, he would latter have to buy her back out of prostitution for 15 shekels of silver and five bushels of barley. God uses Hosea and Gomer as an example of his plan to lead us out of our sin into His abundant life.
Gomer gives birth to three children, and I feel sorry for all of them. Their names were Jezreel, Lo-Ruhamah (Not Loved), and Lo-Ammi (Not My People). Can you imagine how the book of Hosea brought healing to me? Not Loved, Not my people, I felt like this was my identity.
Jezreel’s name foreshadowed the destruction of Israel for the slaughter of God’s prophets by the hands of Jezebel in Jezreel. I hope your name isn’t this bad.
“Hi! My name is Jezreel.”
“Isn’t that where Jezebel slaughtered all the prophets? I heard it was a blood bath.”
“Yes. Yes, it is.”
The names that challenged my little circle of faith was Lo-Ruhamah, Not Loved and Lo-Ammi, Not my people. The Lord’s declaration through the cross to you and I is “Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; you had not received mercy but now you have received mercy.” Although, I identified with promiscuous Gomer, God chose me to be His, not because I was worthy, but because He loves and values His creation. I promiscuously sought love, affirmation, purpose, worth, identity… you name it. I tried to find it anywhere I could. I was an affirmation addict. I was Lo-Ammi! Not His! God transferred me from Lo-Ammi to royal priesthood. He never intended me to sit in that little spot light of faith, clutching my broken yellow watch. He wants me to stand in the word “Chosen”. I didn’t have God by the toe; He had me in the palm of His hand.
What scandalous grace God has lavished on us? Once we were not His people and not loved, but now we are Chosen. I think I should end every post with these words until this is a reality in all of our lives.
The Resurrection is our hope, strength, foundation, and future. Jesus was the firstborn among many (Rom. 8:29). Whenever, I am overwhelmed by my body failing, grief, and even natural disasters, I remember that right now we live our lives in the “in between”, the Saturday before Resurrection. Because Jesus was bodily resurrected, there will be a resurrection for all of us, not spiritual like we enjoy now, but bodily resurrected to live forever with Jesus as our source of life and light. The Message writes it this way, Philippians 3:21,
Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word.”
Jesus set a higher standard for us than we are able to live out, and He was far more divisive than Christians want to admit sometimes. He reserved his harshest words for legalist, and those who used religion for profit. He called the Pharisees a brood of vipers. He replied, “And you experts of the law, woe to you, because you load people down with burdens they can hardly carry and you yourselves will not life one finger to help them,” (Luke 11:46).
For those who believe that God cares more about being nice than holy, forgiveness and reconciliation become confused with codependency.
Forgiveness is the central theme of the gospel. A Holy God who cannot look upon sin gives man the choice to love and obey Him, but we jump into sin with both feet abandoning the Source of All Life. As we come up for air, we find ourselves overwhelmed by the weight of sin, and who should come to our rescue? The God, we abandoned. He gave His Son to die on the cross IN OUR PLACE, so that we can be forgiven and reconciled with God. God paid the costs, so that we can be forgiven and reconciled to Him. The God who forgave so much commands us to forgive others as He has forgiven us. Now let me tell you a story.
Suppose your fun-loving, carefree neighbor asks to borrow a cup of sugar a few nights a week. Then this progresses to needing more groceries, and then she moves on to borrowing pots and pans that she returns scorched and broken. This neighbor always seems to have a great need, and you must fill it. What is the most loving to do? Forgive and forget? Keep giving until you have nothing left? Or perhaps you look a little closer at your neighbor’s need. Her greatest need is to learn to be responsible for herself. How can you respond to help her with her true need?
You forgive her. What does that look like? Forgiveness means she no longer owes you for what she has taken. You don’t keep a list of all the groceries and pots and pans. To forgive her, you pay the costs for what she has taken. Forgiving others always costs the forgiver. How do you respond the next time she asks for a cup sugar?
Draw a boundary. Actions always have consequences. When you refuse her the sugar, it doesn’t mean you haven’t forgiven her. You love her enough for her to experience the repercussions for the way she is living. Your pantry is no longer open for her use. There is a change in the relationship. This change doesn’t mean you have not forgiven. You let her know that you love her and forgive her, but the relationship has changed. In order for you and your neighbor to reconcile, she must have a change of heart.
The change of heart is your neighbor being convicted of the way she treated you. She comes to you in repentance, apologizes, changes her behavior, and perhaps replaces the pots she ruined. Now, you grow together in trust. You need a stick of butter, and borrow from your neighbor. She gives. She needs a cup of flour to finish baking cupcakes, and you give. There becomes a mutual relationship of giving and taking.
Forgiveness is hard and costly, but forgiveness doesn’t mean that the other person can continue to abuse you. In Matthew 18 Jesus gives us pictures of what forgiveness and reconciliation look like, and they are two very different things. “If they refuse to listen” becomes a key phrase in the process of reconciliation. Jesus gives consequences to those who refuse to listen. He gives a process of the wounded telling the offender of what they have done. If they repent, you’ve won your brother back! If they refuse to listen, take a friend. If they still refuse to listen, then go to the church. If they still refuse to listen, treat them as a pagan. This would mean there would be a break in relationship. Most Christians don’t practice this. Often, we want to be nice, keeping the peace and unity at all costs, even allowing others to continue to abuse us.
God doesn’t live this way, and He doesn’t ask us to do more than He. God is not codependent, meaning that He doesn’t live in a dysfunctional relationship with us, where He supports and enables us to continue to sin against Him. He allows us to experience the earthly consequences of sin, so that we may repent. We can be very sorry for having an affair. His forgiveness does not clear up the STD we got. His forgiveness doesn’t change our spouse’s heart. Forgiveness does not change the consequences.
How many times do I forgive? Peter asked the same question. 70 times 7. Jesus goes on to tell the parable of the unmerciful servant as a warning to us all. God has forgiven us so much. We have been forgiven so much and should not demand repayment from those who owe us less. We are to have mercy.
Forgiveness is an inner discipline of the heart. Reconciliation is the wounded and the offender coming together living in relationship with one another. This means that the offender has been convicted and tried to make things right. If the offender refuses to listen, the break in relationship remains.
Because of Jesus, I can sing a new song. He pursued me in the darkness. He patiently corrected my wrong beliefs about who He is. He waited for me to in humbleness to abandon my selfish pursuit of my earthly kingdom. Jesus restored my soul, and as my eyes focus on His heavenly kingdom, I find myself desiring as Paul wrote, “…we also groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for adoption, the redemption of our bodies,” (Rom. 8:23).
Meditation: My New Song from Psalms 18, 40, 116, and 117
I waited patiently for the Lord;
He turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit;
Out of the mud and mire.
He set my feet on a rock
And gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
A hymn of praise to our God.
I love the Lord, for He heard my voice;
He heard my cry for mercy.
The Lord is gracious and righteous;
Because He turned His ear to me,
I will call on Him as long as I live.
May all who seek You
Rejoice and be glad in You;
May those who love Your salvation always say,
“The Lord be exalted.”
Many, O Lord my God,
Are the wonders you have done.
The things You planned for us
No one can recount to you;
Were I to speak and tell of them,
They would be too many to declare.
How can I repay the Lord
For all His goodness to me?
I will lift up the cup of salvation
And call on the name of the Lord.
I will sacrifice a thank offering to You
And call on the name of the Lord.
Great is His love toward us
And the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever.
Some of us in the church fear suffering and evil because our faith does not hold up under criticism and doubt, whereas, Biblical suffering proves the very need in every heart for the Suffering Savior acquainted with grief that conquers sin and death on the cross. If we have ever made the life of following Christ easy, may we repent in truth that dying to self and living a new transformed life in Christ costs. Rosaria Butterfield said it best, “So die to self, take up a cross, and don’t expect that your personal experience is going to go any better than the Savior you love and follow.”
Our world in darkness walks, and what do we answer about such darkness that Believer and Unbeliever alike face? My aim in following pages is to give words to those who are suffering from grief of all kinds. I want to bring comfort to those who sit in darkness with the Light of Truth. For when we find ourselves in the furnace, may we not be consumed, but rather refined because in the fire we walk with God.
As I wrestled with grief, I found that unbelief was the basis of much turmoil in my affliction. Only when the Bible became my lens to view my afflictions and the very blood of Christ sustaining my soul did I count affliction as joy. It was then that I could make the sacrifice to praise the One who suffered and died so that I could have a High Priest, who was fully human in every way, bring me to glory and break the power of him who holds the power of death that is, the devil—and free me who all my life was held in slavery by my fear of death.
“I will declare your name to my
In the assembly I will sing your praises.”
“Here am I, and the children God has given me.”
There is hope and His name is Jesus.
In grief of all kinds we are battered by strong emotions both on the inside and the outside. We feel tossed about like a ship on water during a hurricane. We feel as if we may drown in sorrow. Advice comes from people who have not suffered, or by those who have been stunted in emotional maturity by abuse. They cannot relate to sadness, and only want to cheer up the one in grief. Often those around the one in affliction cannot handle strong emotion. Our lives have become too busy. The one in affliction needs to learn to rest, and most of us cannot not stop long enough to sit in grief. The ministry of presence is so important. Words will fail. When we sit in grief with another and allow her to lament, we give what Jesus gives to us. We give the one in affliction the right to give voice to her affliction, and we sit silently with the Lamb, who was silent for us.
We must focus our eyes on Jesus. Jesus entered into history because sin causes suffering. Jesus becomes an anchor for our soul, firm and secure, in life’s storms.
Hebrews5:7 “During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death.”
Jesus is not afraid of strong emotions. He cried drops of blood in Gethsemane. If Jesus is our model, then we should freely express our grief, our sadness. Look at Jesus on the cross as he faced ultimate darkness, forsaken by the Father! He cried out His question to God without restraint (Matt. 27:45-45).
My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
In affliction, we feel forsaken. We are not greater than Jesus. We cry out the same words, WHY? God, why? In our anguish let us go back to the pure milk of the Word which is the foundation of repentance, of faith in God, and the resurrection of the dead.
–excerpt from the book I’m writing. I have hope because of Jesus.
In case you didn’t know, it’s world poetry day. Somewhere between sadness and grief, Jesus met me, and gave me the comfort of His presence. He spoke gently through the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the fiery furnace from chapter 3 of the Book of Daniel. This story has comforted me in a variety of storms, and it doesn’t disappoint. When Jesus says, “I will not save you from all suffering, but I will be with you even in the fire,” we glorify Him as we are obedient.
Even in the storm may we say, “But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods.”
Below is a short poem in honor of Kai Glass. His short life has been God’s grace to me to hold to the Truth even in darkness. I will always miss Kai, but my prayer is that even through suffering, I will be found obedient. One day there will be an end to these sufferings.
In Between
between…the words
there is and no
where hope recedes
and light flees
my soul refused to die
his heart has stopped
but mine defied
the darkness came
we remain
hope is found
in grief’s sound
Flourishing Faith 